Donald practices his reading

crayon map
Well, at least now we know how he’s going to pay the Secret Service … he’ll make Pakistan pay them and foot the bill for his next dozen golf outings. Maybe he can also get them to pay for the Wall.

Wait, maybe corporate advertising could pay for the Wall. “This mile of beautiful concrete is brought to you” by Nascar or Koch Brothers Industries or Mountain Dew. Commercials could be projected twenty feet high from a Border Patrol van that plays them on an endless loop. We could install point of purchase displays in the middle of nowhere.  Hey, I’m thinking private sector! That’s good, right?

Is last night’s speech the longest piece of writing that Donald has ever read in one place at one time? Without going off script or getting so bored he just quits? I think he got about twenty minutes in before he did that repeaty thing he does and threw in an ad lib or two. But he caught himself and got back to the grueling business of reading.

Good job, Donald. Give yourself a soda and a candy bar. 

I don’t believe Donald Trump can find Afghanistan on a map. And the only parts of the speech that he wrote – or suggested – were statements like “As I’ve said before,” so he could pretend he’d had input on both the speech and the policy.  I also don’t believe that his prepared statement disclosed anything of importance regarding U.S. plans there. The military has decided that we need to stay awhile longer. They put the kabosh on the War by Voucher Eric Prince thing at the same time they put the kabosh on its principal sponsor, Steve Bannon. The only thing I know for sure is that Pakistan will be pissed both by Trump’s demand that they pick up the check and his praise of India.

The speech was classic Don Draper “change the subject” stuff and, from Trump’s somber demeanor, it looks like they also changed his meds. Switched out the adderall for a mild sedative, which they probably tucked inside raw hamburger and then massaged Donald’s throat until he swallowed.

I dislike this man so intensely that it’s increasingly hard for me to watch him and listen to him. I wish Fred Trump had followed HIS original instinct and pulled out 72 years ago.

But Fred finished what he started in Queens that night. And here we all are.