The rest of the world should declare war on us …

global warming

and take out our current Commander in Chief. Or least take away his cell phone. I certainly wouldn’t blame the world’s other countries for lining up against us if the global disaster called Trump (as rumored) pulls the United States out of the Paris Agreement today. This will put our nation in rarefied company … with only Syria and Nicaragua as fellow non-signators … among the world’s almost 200 countries.

Syria has been busy the last six years, so it is understandable that it hasn’t gotten around to signing. Nicaragua refused to sign because it felt that the Agreement’s regulations were not STRONG enough.

There is also the small independent state of Ijadaiatdgmm near Burptown in Kentucky, which is composed primarily of retired coal miners and Southern Baptists over the age of 50 and which is seeking independence from the rest of America, Ijadaimites believe climate change is a hoax and worry that a reduction in carbon emissions may delay the Rapture. NOTE: Their proposed nation name is an acronym for I’m Just as Dumb and Ignorant as the Day God Made Me. Also not signing are Randy Quaid and his wife, who believe that the Paris Agreement is a veiled attempt to get them to pay back taxes.

Rex Tillerson urged Trump to keep us in the Agreement. So did the current heads of Exxon Mobil and all other oil and gas companies, car companies, etc. (Although that may have been smoke and mirrors to disguise their own guilt in creating global catastrophe.) So did North Fucking Korea for Christ’s sake. But we have a President who emulates Slim Pickens and wants to ride Destruction all the way down while yahooing and waving his combover.

Twice this week I dreamed that Trump’s election had been “fake news” and we had a real President again. Then I woke up.

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