I Give You Donald Trump on Brexit …

US tycoon Donald Trump (C) is escorted b


I made myself read this, so I could feel the utter sorrow of how empty this man’s head is. Under the yellow chick-feather hair. What a boob he is. If Trump ever knew anything … about anything …. he’s forgotten it. I think Trump was trying to suggest that Britain build a wall between themselves and Europe, but he got distracted by the bagpipes or something.

The Brits who voted to leave the EU are stupid. Sorry. Ignorant is the right word, not stupid. Although some folks are both. Last night they were acting like they’d just beat all of Europe in soccer … sorry, futbol. When all they’d done is voted to take their ball and go home.

They got scammed. By emotional appeals divorced from reason and devoid of facts. A lot of the folks who voted LEAVE are busy googling EU today and wondering what it is exactly they’d done. Because, at the time, at the rallies, in the pubs, they were just chasing a feeling that they liked. Of rooting for the home club.

In sports, you don’t play well with others. You play well against others.

I could feel superior, I guess. But then I look around. At my fellow Americans, many of whom get their news from Fox, which announced the Brexit vote with the headline “Britain votes to leave the UN.” And then I see who received the nomination for one of our two major political parties. Currently starring in The Apprentice Goes to Scotland. And I want to throw up. I’m that afraid.

America’s Homegrown Terrorists

gop-senate-1024x644With Senators like these, who needs ISIS? They’ve already been responsible for more deaths – because of their support of NRA gun policies in exchange for cash – than all the terrorists in all the groups allied against the United States combined.

I don’t know if Allah will be there to shake their hands when these assassins ascend to their Great Reward. Or if they have a hookah party planned, complete with virgins and MOR country music. But, God knows, they’ve been paid well enough in this life. Millions upon millions in blood money. So Allah would be justified in skipping the party, and letting the GOP-slated virgins stay virginal awhile longer. .

A lot of these Republican men and women purport to be Christians. I’m skeptical. I’m not even convinced they’re all Americans, They certainly don’t act like any Americans I’ve ever known, devoid as they are of the slightest concern for public safety. A moment’s thought for the common good.

Americans? Christians? I say we insist on seeing their birth certificates. And get sworn statements that they aren’t disciples of radical Islam. From their actions, you shall know them. And they’ve slaughtered tens of thousands of innocent American men, women, and children in the last few years alone.No one would do that just for money , would they? They have to believe in something. Someone. Don’t they? And it can’t possibly be America. Or Christ.

For those few GOP Senators who are real Americans and believing Christians, I have bad news. No hookah party in the sky for you. You’ll be going straight to Hell. That’s the destination, I hear, for traitors and murderers.

I suggest you wear your summer suit and travel light. It gets hot in Hell this time of year. Although there is some good news. You’ll be able to reunite with a lot of your old friends from Congress and from al qaeda. And the radio station down there plays country MOR.

Yes, I do want to take your guns …


Pretty much all of them. Just so we’re clear. And I’m willing to repeal the 2nd Amendment if its imprecise wording continues to provide fodder for NRA propaganda and cause confusion for a few dumb-as-rocks Roberts Court Justices. Then legislate your guns out of existence.

I will take your guns. Nearly all of them. And the nation needs you adolescent Tin Solders to stop playing war and find other, less lethal games. With less dangerous toys. That don’t massacre innocent people. Your fellow Americans. That don’t slaughter children.

We’re coming for your guns, weekend cowboys and cowgirls. Your mindless fun has become our nation’s nightmare.

And, you know what, kids? You probably won’t miss them.You might even breathe a sigh of relief. When your guns are gone, you won’t have to repeat lies, twist history, nitpick statistics, and strain logic past the point where it can ever again assume its rightful shape.

Most important, when your guns are gone, you can stop having blood on your hands. The blood of innocent Americans. Of babies.

My wish for you is that you will recover your sense. Use your mind again. Breathe. For a long time now, you have been slaves to your guns. It’s time for us to set you free.

We will take your guns.

Randall Smoot's photo.